Crime Doesn't Pay
I was watching TV just now and saw a teaser run across the bottom of the screen "Tonight at 11: Hamburglar Arrested." Could it be? Could the most notorious hamburger thief of all time have finally met his inevitable end? I started to think about the Hamburglar and what might've lead him to his life of crime. I came up with a couple of possible sources: His name. Hamburglar. Much the same way as a mother who names her kid Trinity, Starla, or Diamante must know from the start that her daughter is going to grow up to be a stripper, the Hamburglar's mother must've known that he'd turn to a life of crime. It's right there in his name: BURGLAR. No brainer. Poor verbal skills. Perhaps the Hamburglar, despite his inauspicious moniker, had a strong beginning in the world. But he didn't start talking as fast as the other kids, and when he finally did, all he could manage was a weak, "Robble, robble." His parents lost faith, stopped paying ...