The Suction's the Thing

I love TV. I watch it. A lot. I watch all kinds of shows, and I'm generally not that discriminating about what is on. I don't have a DVR, so I always watch the commercials too. And I love them. The good, the bad, and the ugly. As I've said before, I think I'm a frustrated ad executive underneath it all.

For some time now I've been absolutely fascinated with the Dyson commercials. I'm sure you know the ones I'm talking about. The one where Mr. Dyson talks about his obsession with suction.


I find his passion for dust removal both hilarious and commendable. Think about it. Here's a guy who has spent years of his life doing nothing but thinking about dust, suction, and flawed vacuum cleaners. I mean, the guy made 2,000 prototypes just to get the sucking right. Can you imagine what he's like at parties? I imagine conversation with him goes something like this:

Party Goer: Hi, I'm Debbie.
Dyson: Hello, Debbie. I'm James.
PG: So, James, tell me a little bit about yourself.
Dyson: Well, I've spent years thinking about suction. I'm very concerned about dust. You see, a regular vacuum just doesn't have the proper suction. It clogs because of the technology, but I've developed this cyclonic technology to remedy that.
PG: Oh, wow.
Dyson: I'm also very concerned about the traditional vacuum's maneuverability. The four wheels and a fixed axel just don't make sense. It really is a wonder we've put up with it for all these years. That's why I created the Dyson Ball. It pivots easily, making clean up a snap.
PG: I think my martini is running low.
Dyson: I've been knighted by the Queen.
PG: I'm going to need some dip . . .

And God forbid if someone spills something at the party. Mr. Dyson, sorry Sir Dyson, is probably the first to try to clean it up. "Does anyone have a vacuum," he would yell across the party. Hopefully the host would have a Dyson, but what if they didn't? Can you imagine the turmoil? "What is this rubbish? There's no suction! I can't maneuver this clunky behmoth! Get me a broom!" It would be a disaster.

The lesson in all of this, I suppose, is the sticktuitiveness of Sir Dyson and his spectacular suction (that sounds like a Broadway musical). If you believe in your dreams (of eradicating the planet of dust), you too might someday get to meet the Queen.

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