Friday, May 14, 2010

Toying With Us

The other night, Wonderful Husband informed me that he thinks he's having a midlife crisis in his thirties. It seems he's been surfing eBay in search of toys he had during his childhood. I can relate to that, as neither of us has access to our childhood homes anymore, both sets of parents having long since vacated. In my case, a select group of toys are now sitting in a giant bag in our storage unit in the basement. In his case, the toys were lost in a move. And so, he has found himself on eBay, trying to "reclaim what once belonged to me."

WH has been fascinated by what he's found. In particular, he's been confused by the pristine toys that are in mint condition, still in the box. Here's how the conversation went down:

WH: I don't understand. Who was that kid whose mother bought them a toy and they kept it in a box? What kind of weirdo was that kid?

WT: I never really thought about it.

WH: Well I have, and it raises two questions. First of all, if the toy was so precious that you didn't take it out of the box, why the hell are you selling it now? And secondly, if you're selling it now, you obviously don't care about it anymore, so don't you wish you could have played with it as a kid? That 50 bucks is more important to you now?

WT: Hmm, I don't know.

WH: I have a hard time believing that some kid begged his mom to buy him that toy, and then when she got it and told him to go play with it, he said, "No, mommy, I'm going to keep it in a box so that when I grow up, I can sell it on eBay." I personally never had any friends that, when I went to their house to play, their toys were still in the box!

WT: No, I guess me neither.

WH: And I can prove to you that these people who still have their toys in the box are still virigins. I'm sure they have the same mentality when it comes to girls, they don't want to unwrap them. They just want the latest action figure.

WT: You may be right about that.

WH: I mean, you just want to say to these people, "You stupid freak. You never had any emotional attachment to that toy because it never came out of the box. No wonder you're selling it now."

WH does have a point. Now that he's mentioned it, who were those kids who kept their toys in the box? Or maybe it was some sadistic mother who wouldn't let the kid play with the toy because they had to "keep it nice." Either way, I guess it's a good thing someone saved all of that crap, because otherwise eBay would have no reason to exist. Which reminds me, there's an Easy Bake Oven I've had my eye on for some time now . . .


  1. He should watch the 40 Year Old Virgin.

  2. Or that episode of Seinfeld where Jerry makes his GF fall asleep so he can play with all of her toys! HA!