I couldn't believe what happened to me yesterday. For once, I was not the butt of a cosmic joke. In fact, I was able to press the reset button and send a little good karma out into the world.
I was walking home enjoying the delightful weather and off to the side by a parking meter was a woman squatting to undo her bike lock. And that's when I saw it . . . this poor woman had done something that I had once done. I immediately felt the pain that she didn't know she was in. She was wearing a skirt that fastened up the back. She had buttoned the button, but neglected to zip the zipper. In short, her butt was out.
I laughed to myself (wouldn't you?), and then I tapped her on the shoulder and told her that her zipper was down. (For the record, I did not tell her that her "butt was out." She was wearing red and white striped underwear.) But the real kicker is that when she thanked me (after first looking ashamed and confused) her accent revealed that she was Russian! Just as my own underwear savior had been! I was amazed (and I only took slight glee in the fact that someone else had done something so ridiculous).
When I relayed the story to my friend the Gay Lawyer, he declared that it was the universe rebalancing itself. I think that's exactly right. And now, I can rest secure in the knowledge that the next time I leave the house with my heiny hanging out, the universe will provide cover . . . or at least a helpful Russian woman.