Thursday, November 19, 2015

What You Can't See

There's a lot about mold exposure and environmental illness that seemingly makes no sense. There are a lot of unknowns and even more "unseens" that make it a mystery, not only to the doctors and providers who are treating it, but to the person who is suffering from it. I have learned a lot about all the things you can't see simply by listening to and learning from my superhero husband.

What you can't see is the constant pain he is in. He looks like the picture of health, but inside he's hurting. He can't buy warm clothes because many fabrics are also contaminated. So much of what is in stores has been imported, often by boat (a prime breeding ground for mold), and the fabrics irritate him. He can't find a warm coat right now -- so we are not looking forward to the colder days that are invevitably coming. While he is smiling on the outside, my warrior husband is suffering on the inside. But he'll never let you see it.

What you can't see is contaminated environments. Despite being a new building, recently cleaned, or looking nice, some things aren't what they seem. There have been countless times that we've walked into a restaurant, store, or other building only to learn seconds later (because that's how long it takes to react) that something just isn't right. New buildings (or recently renovated ones) frequently have residual construction dust that can exacerbate his symptoms. We often play "Goldilocks" in a restaurant to find a seat that's just right (not too near the outdoors, or near dusty plants, or near exposed brick, or, or, or...).This level of sensitivity to contamination is what has prevented him from finding a place to live, and why he's living in a hotel room. It's an invisible prison.

What you can't see is the incredible strength. For more than four years, this has been our reality. And for four years, my husband has kept hurting, kept going, kept fighting. Every day is like a chess match, anticipating what new challenge this disease is going to throw at us, what move we will have to make next to think ahead. And despite every setback, every devastating pivot, my husband has been nothing short of amazing. Check and mate, we will beat this thing because of his incredible strength.

You can't see all these things, these invisible, powerful, life-changing things, but they're there and they're part of who we are. A friend recently compared us to a duck, gliding on the surface but paddling like hell underneath. Yes, we're paddling like hell...you just can't see it. If you would like to learn more about we're going through or help us as we battle this monster, please visit our YouCaring website.

For more information about environmental illness, mold, and mycotoxin poisoning, read here, here, and here, and watch video here.


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